LEADING THE SESSIONS
Session One //
The video story that opens this session may be emotional for some of your group members. If it would be helpful, take time before you begin the discussion questions to share and process your reactions as a group.
As you talk through questions two and three, know that opening up about the impact of words—especially those spoken to you as a child—may be tough for some people. Be ready to go first, sharing your own personal examples.
Before your group begins Session Two, it’s important that everyone completes the 40-question assessment. You may choose to use time at the end of your first gathering to do this (about 20 minutes). Or you can have group members complete the assessment on their own before you meet again. Consider sending a reminder text or email a couple of days before your next group meeting.
Session Two //
The Session Two video is 41 minutes long. Depending on the format of your group meeting, this may not leave enough time to discuss all five of this session’s questions. If possible, read through the questions ahead of time so you can prioritize your favorites.
Before you watch the video, take a few minutes for group members to share their dominant temperaments. It is perfectly normal for people to push back or disagree with their results. (You may need to remind your group of this.) The Common Assessment Questions on page 38 have helpful guidance for anyone confused about or skeptical of their results.
In the video, Kathleen defines the terms “introvert” and “extrovert” in a way that will likely be new to most of your group members. You may need to guide them through these new definitions as you discuss question two.
As you wrap up, remind everyone to complete the session reading and homework before your next gathering. Cast vision for the value of these “on your own” activities. They’re tremendously important in order to get the most from this study.
Session Three //
This session introduces four innate needs for each temperament. As you’ll see in the video, some people may not initially identify with their temperament’s needs. Question one allows them to voice those feelings. As the leader, it is not your job to convince them to feel otherwise. As they move forward in the study, they may find themselves agreeing more with material they don’t identify with right now.
This session’s homework includes an activity called How Do I Define It? It may be the most impactful part of this study for some people. Consider mentioning this with your homework reminder at the end of the group discussion.
Session Four //
Warning: the term “manipulate” used in this session can evoke strong reactions. Be prepared for this as your group discusses question one. The dictionary definition of the word provided may be helpful. As you discuss the rest of the questions, recognize that group members may talk about behavior they regret or relationships they’ve been wounded by. Celebrate this authenticity and be sure your group responds with support and confidentiality.
Again, remind your group to complete the session reading and homework on their own before your next gathering.
Session Five //
This session begins applying the temperament framework to others. The video is 35 minutes long; if possible, read the questions ahead of time so you can prioritize your favorites.
This session’s homework includes an activity called Talk It Over. If your group includes married couples, work teams, or other pairings, encourage them to do this activity together before your next gathering. Or consider making time for it at the beginning of your next meeting if your group members aren’t able to complete their homework.
Session Six //
Before you begin the Session Six video, discuss the “Opening Question” on page 106. Also, consider debriefing the Talk It Over homework exercise (or making time to do it together if you didn’t last session).
Question three of the group discussion invites group members to talk about parts of the temperaments framework they still don’t understand. Often, others can clarify these points of confusion, so make space in your discussion for the group to talk about what’s brought up. If your entire group is stumped, you can submit your question(s) at iSaidYouHeard.study/askKathleen.
As you wrap up the study, take time to celebrate any positive changes group members may have made. If possible, check in with one another in six months with a reminder of this material and encouragement to “be a builder” with your words.
GENERAL GROUP TIPS
If you are the lead facilitator of the discussion questions, here are three things to consider:
Cultivate Discussion // Your role as the leader is to create an environment in which people feel safe to share their thoughts. Set the example by authentically sharing yours. You are not expected to be the expert, so resist any pressure to have all the answers.
Stay on Track // Allow open discussion, but make sure the conversation stays on topic. Don’t let it veer off on tangents. Go with the flow, but be ready to nudge the conversation in the right direction when necessary.
Pray // This is the most important thing you can do as a leader and as a group. Pray for one another’s needs and for the wisdom and courage to apply what you learned in this study.